you gotta restart every morning.

so i’ve been struggling lately with my whole don’t be fat thing.  meaning i’ve been very fat lately.  been inconsistant with the gym and just doing minimal stuff while i’m there.  i’ve been eating out and having way too much fast food.  i even had multiple soda pops on multiple days.  all hell is breaking loose.

but whatever.  everyday means starting over.  or everyday means we have the opportunity to start over.  to renew each new day with the dedication that today is going to be better than the last. 

i’ve made my own meals the last two days and am currently having a bowl of bananas, strawberries, vanilla yogurt and honeynut cheerios.  it’s delicious and not in the least fat.  other than that spoonful of sugar i put on the fruit and berries. 

baby steps.

baby steps.

so i’ve said this before but living a healthy lifestyle is a lifestyle choice.  you have to make the decision everyday to be healthy.  you have to decide everyday to don’t be fat.  and sometimes we succeed and sometimes we don’t.  sometimes we sneak a double cheeseburger from steak and shake and some days we opt for a fruit smoothie instead.

the key is to not get upset with yourself for slipping up and try to get a little better everyday.  good habits are hard to make but easy to break.  i was really, really good for almost a year.  i dropped 50 pounds in just about 8 months.  i was going to the gym everyday.  i had a specific work out routine and a specific diet i was living by.  but just like that, it’s a year and half later and i’ve gained back half of the 50 and it’s like pulling teeth to get myself to the gym.  and it’s oh so easy to stop at the steak and shake at 2 in the morning when i’m getting off work.

but it’s just a matter of baby steps.  i’ve got to slowly work my way back into the good habits of going to the gym and eating right.  and that’s what i’m doing today.  i’ve been to the Y three days i a row.  today will make four.  i need to do that another three weeks in a row then it might be a habit.  now, i’ve not been doing a strenous excercise routine or anything yet.  i’ve just been concentrating on getting back in the gym.  i’ve been playing basketball and riding the excercise bike.  but i’ve been going.

that’s a baby step.  next week i’ll start working on a specific work out.

i’m also eating better today.  i work at a movie theater.  and with that comes some jacked up hours.  and it’s real easy just to eat there.  and there’s nothing good for you at a movie theater, i’ll tell ya that.  the popcorn is okay but you can only eat so much popcorn before you start having nightmares about giant popcorn kernals chasing you.  then it’s easy to go get something fast when you get hungry.  and there’s very little fast that’s good for you either.  in fact, that’s one of the first baby steps you need to take when you decide to don’t be fat.  no fast food.  and anything that’s halfway healthy is expesive as hell.  so today, i’ve fixed some chicken and rice for lunch and i made enough to take to work and eat on all night.

baby steps.

fat ass slip up.

i didn’t repeat moon bloodgood to myself last night after leaving my early screening of night at the museum 2.  i shoulda.  but i didn’t.  i stopped at the steak and shake.  why’s that place gotta be 24 hours?  for fat asses like me.  that’s why.

but oh well.  that happens.  i have made it to the gym three days in a row.  that’s an accomplishment.  and i’ve done pretty good on most of my meals.  my fruit smoothies and lots of cottage cheese and peaches.  i’m munching on some cottage cheese and mixed fruit right now.  yummy.  or course it’s not double cheese burger and cheese fries from steak and shake.  but it’s much less fat.

i did also have some chinese food yesterday.  but i figure that’s not so bad.  it’s mostly rice and veggies, right.  oh, and i did  have a fat mocha chai frozen yummy drink.  but that’s okay too.  so long as i don’t have them everyday and keep myself away from the steak and shake.

don’t be fat.

moon bloodgood, moon bloodgood

so yeah, she’s on the cover of this months maxim magazine.  and she makes me want to work out.  i just need to keep repeating her name to myself over and over as i ride on the exercise bike.  moon bloodgood, moon bloodgood.  she is out of this world.  dang.

so yesterday was a pretty good one for me.  and inspired by moon bloodgood i’m headed to the Y shortly.  gotta wait on the freaking TV guy to come fix the tube.

last night i was able to screen terminator salvation.  that’s what’s got me thinking about moon bloodgood.  that and her image on the cover of maxim.  at the movie some of my co-workers that also screened the film were eating some crap.  like taco bell and white castle crap.  and boy did it smell wonderful.  i really wanted some.  when the movie was over i drove right past steak and shake.  it’s 24 hours ya know.  and i really wanted to stop. 

but i didn’t.  i kept repeating moon bloodgood, moon bloodgood to myself.  and yeah, i’m shallow and vain and all that.  what of it?  i’m too pretty to be this fat.  and i really dig sexy thin women.  and if expect them to be sexy and thin, i reckon i oughta be too.  it’s all about confidence.  and when you look good and feel good.  it’s easy to be confident with yourself and that makes it easier to score sexy bitches like moon bloodgood.  that’s all i’m saying.

gonna have my full on breakfast again today.  with the eggs, ham and multigrain toast.  just so long as the gym comes calling.  then i’ll have a smoothie for lunch or maybe some grilled chicken and rice.  i do love chicken and rice.  it’s so yummy and it’s kinda good for ya.  beats the hell out of white castle.  mmm…white castle…

sorry.  moon bloodgood, moon bloodgood.

215.

what a freaking fat ass.  i busted my ass for like a year or so and went from 240 to 190.  i looked good.  i felt good.  and goll darnit, i was good.  but just like i always do, i gave up on myself and let myself start eating crap food.  i stopped going to the gym.  i ate late and fat.  i suck at life.

but alas, each day dawns the hope of a better one than the last.  today i woke up and fixed myself a kick ass breakfast.  fried some ham and eggs, toasted some multi grain bread, put some cheese on it with some miracle whip and went to town.  not exactly what you’d call a health nut breakfast but in my opinion and in the opinion of many experts i’ve read, breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day.  might as well kick the day off right.  and i love eggs and ham.  so there ya go.

i did go to the gym today.  and since today is monday, it’s a good day to try and start some good habits over again.  i just played ball but it’s important just to get back in there.  baby steps, as i always say.

so i went and played some ball.  worked up a pretty good sweat and on the way home stopped at the local grocer and picked up some items to begin anew on my commitment to not be fat.  bought some strawberries, bananas, vanilla yogurt, cottage cheese and some peaches in a jar.  it cost me 15 bucks.  which ain’t bad considering i got enough to do me four or five meals.  and by meals i mean smoothies.

what i do is replace at least one meal a day with a smoothie.  strawberry and banana is my fav but you can do whatever you like.  pretty much any kind of berry is good mixed with any kind of fruit.  ain’t nobody ever got fat eating fruit.  except the tongans.  but they also eat whole pigs.

anyway, for lunch today i’m having a fruit smoothie.  it consist of ice, four or five strawberries, a banana, a couple spoonfuls of vanilla yogurt and a scoop of chocolate whey protien.  i already had the protien otherwise my grocery bill would have been double.  that stuff ain’t exactly cheap.  but it last a while.  i put all that stuff in a blender and bam!  a healthy meal replacement.  it’s delicious and filling.

for dinner tonight i’m thinking of some grilled chicken and rice.  or maybe just some cereal and yogurt.  but no fast food or soda pop and i’ll be off to a good start. 

215.  i’m too good looking to be this fat.

save me from myself

it’s so easy to fall back into bad habits as i’ve said before.  and it’s so easy to let those bad health decisions get you down and let them pull you down until you’re back living life in the unhealthy way that got you all fat in the first place.  and i’ve been living fat lately.  i’ve been depressed about some things in my life starting with they way i’ve been eating and not going to the gym.

then with some other stuff, i’ve just let myself go.  i’ve been eating fast food and drinking soda pops and eating candy bars and brownies.  today, i even finished off a thing of chocolate cake icing.  yeah, that’s right.  i been eating the icing just straight out of the container. 

i’m so fat.

but this whole healthy lifestyle thing i’ve been trying to do is a day to day thing.  every day i have to make the decision to be healthy.  the decision to not be fat.  and that decision needs to be made every day.

so today, i will not be fat.  i will not have fast food.  i will not eat candy.  i will go to the gym.

i am a lazy, fat, peice of crap.

sometimes my self loathing gets the better of me.  i’ve not been to the gym in almost two weeks.  i’ve had fat fast food more times in that two weeks than i care to say.  i’ve had way too much to drink in those two weeks.  i feel that i’ve let myself go to the point where it doesn’t even matter anymore. 

that’s negative thinking.

today i will not be fat.  today i will go to the gym.  today i will buy groceries so i’m not tempted to eat fat food.  today, i will not be fat.

yeah, so.

i always like to say don’t be fat.  it’s a mindset.  not a diet, but an absolute change in lifestyle.  and that i believe.  but let me tell ya.  it’s real easy to live a lifestyle of fat.  and it’s real easy to fall back into that lifestyle.

i’ve packed on 16 pounds without doing anything.  not doing the anything is what gained me the 16 pounds. 

my gym routine is not routine.  and that’s what is killing me.  routines are important.  i’m so much better when i’m going to the gym on a regular basis.  i even floss.  flossing is part of my routine when i go to the gym. 

and it seems to me that it’s a lot harder to refrain from eating shit, as i call it, when you aren’t going to the gym.  when i go to the gym, i think more about what i eat.  if i go to the gym and get in a good work out, i’m less likely to stop at the wendy’s for a baconator combo than if i didn’t get a good work out in.  does that make sense?

routine, routine.

write it down.

alright, so i’m pretty pissed at myself for ballooning back up to over 200 pounds.  i had been holding fairly steady right at 200 but soemthing has happened in the past two weeks and i’m weighing in at 205 now.  that does not make me happy.

i’ve been lazy.  i’ve been over eating, eating out, eating fast food, drinking too much booze, too many soda pops.  i lost my focus.

i dropped fifty pounds from november of 06 to the summer of 07.  that’s pretty good considering i’m the laziest person i know.  i looked in the mirror one day and realized i didn’t like what i saw.  i became motivated and driven to lose weight.  and i did.

but like all good things in my life, i lost focus.  stopped doing all the things that helped me lose weight and started doing all the things that made me fat.

one thing that helped me lose weight and maintain a healthy diet was writing down everything that i ate.  today starts again the diet log.  so far today i’ve had one and half servings of whole wheat oatmeal with one whole banana and about five strawberries.  mmm…strawberries.  and for lunch i had one of those little plastic cups of mixed fruit and three big spoons of cottage cheese.  i love cottage cheese.  and also for lunch i had one can of creamy chicken noodle soup.

this will make it easier for me to have a healthy snack and healthy dinner.  i’ve been to the Y and i’ve documented my food intake so far, it’ll be easy to do the same for dinner.

there are several studies and articles you can find about how keeping a log of what you eat helps you lose weight and keep it off.  the most recent article i’ve seen on it was in Time Magazine.  a study was down with obese people.  those who kept a log of what they ate lost twice the weight as those that didn’t keep a log.

write it down.  works for personal finance as well…

today i choose to be fat.

i weighed in at 205 today.  so i guess i’m a little depressed and i’m apparently taking it out on this big ass pot of alfredo i made for lunch.

and i had some cheesecake at work.  i didn’t want it.  but norma was giving away free cheesecake.